Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Guaranty Her An Orgasm





As the classic comedy Clerksfamously quipped, it’s simple for men to reach orgasm. (“Insert somewhere close and preferably moist; thrust; repeat.”)

But for her to reach the big O? Count the ways. According to the latest research published in theJournal of Sexual Medicine, vaginal and clitoral orgasms are, in fact, separate sensations.

Don’t obsess over the source of her pleasure, though—just try something new. Interest in testing out new positions actually makes a big difference in her pleasure and her arousal, explains Jen Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women.

Whether your goal is to give her a blended orgasm or target her G-spot, focus on vaginal pleasure or hone in on her clitoris, we’ve rounded up four positions that will help you perform like a pro in between the sheets.




How it works: Kneel and straddle her left leg while she's lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of your waist—allowing full access to her vagina. This position is an upgrade from standard missionary because this sets you up for deeper penetration and allows you to slow your roll. "Most women find sex much more pleasurable when it's not just constant thrusting," says Landa. So spend some time exploring her body. This setup gives you complete access to her clitoris for manual stimulation. But don’t feel limited to solely hands on fun. Try withdrawing your penis and, while holding the shaft with your left hand, rub the head against her clitoris. Start out soft and slow, then as you increase speed and pressure, reinsert once you’ve brought her to the brink of an orgasm.






How it works: Lie on your back and bend one of your legs, keeping the other outstretched. Have her straddle the raised leg with a thigh on either side and then lower herself onto your member so that her back is facing you. From here, she should hold your knee and use it for support as she rocks up and down. "This position is great, because it's a lot like the reverse cowgirl, but with a twist," says Landa. Raising your knee allows her to rub against your thigh—which produces optimal clitoral stimulation, says Landa.

How To Spice Up Your Sex Life!







You don’t need help from Christian Grey to lift your sex life to kinky new heights. “It’s no longer fringe to talk openly about things like handcuffs or blindfolds,” says Kristen Mark, Ph.D., director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at the University of Kentucky. The stigma has vanished—along with the ball gags. This is more creativity and spontaneity. “The more couples inject excitement into their relationships,” Mark says, “the more their satisfaction level rises.” Think you’re ready? Answer true or false to the following statements, and find out just how much adventure lies ahead.


1. "Kinky" means your sex life feels like a Saw sequel.

FALSE. Dabbling in deviance does not have to involve leather and nipple clamps. It’s the newness and not the fear that’s stimulating, says Gail Saltz, M.D., a sex therapist in New York City. “So if it’s Fifty Shades you’re after, you might put on some of the costumes, just to get a feel for it,” she says. The most common kinks are the least freaky ones. In one of Mark’s surveys, 54 percent of people had engaged in spanking, 19 percent in role playing, and 11 percent in fetishes; 61 percent had used sex toys.


2. You need to be a little twisted to enjoy this stuff.

TRUE. Well, kind of. Many people like a bit of rough play. In 2013, the sex toy company Lovehoney found that nearly three out of four customers had tied up a partner, one in five had used a gag, and one in six said bondage was part of their routine. But a more productive gauge of sexual success is if what you’re doing makes you feel good about yourself and enhances your relationship, says Carol Rinkleib Ellison, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and the author of Women’s Sexualities.



3. You two must discuss new kinks before trying them.

FALSE. But then again, it’s never a bad idea to have a quick chat if you’re rookies. Otherwise, just let it happen...but slowly. Simply being more playful in the bedroom can act as a catalyst. “Being flirtatious and dropping subtle hints can be better than jumping in all the way,” says Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., a psychologist and licensed sex therapist. “Find objects, like her makeup brush, to use on her body and see what she’s comfortable with. Make it about inviting her to join you.”

4. Anal sex is no longer that big a deal between partners.

TRUE. Surveys find the back door increasingly open; reasons include changing norms, the depiction of anal sex in pornography, and a greater willingness to admit to the behavior, says Kimberly McBride, Ph.D., an assistant professor of public health at the University of Toledo. In McBride’s 2008 survey of heterosexual men, 18 percent said they’d had anal sex in the previous 30 days; in her more recent survey, 50 percent said they’d engaged in some type of anal sex behavior in their lifetime.
5. People mostly agree on what is and isn’t kinky.

FALSE. One person’s kink can be another’s yawn. “For some people, woman-on-top is kinky,” says Carol Queen, author of Exhibitionism for the Shy. Here’s what we can agree on: A repertoire of just three or four sex positions no longer does the trick. So ease into kink—a new position, say, or sex in a new location. And props help, says New York City sex therapist Stephen Snyder, M.D. A scarf could be a blindfold or a soft restraint. “Anything to add a transgressive edge to your sex will work.”
6. Pinch her as often as you’re willing to be pinched.

TRUE. The key to success is to enlist her as a fellow conspirator. “Good sex involves compromise,” says Mark. “Shoot for an even split between giving and taking.” Some people balk at role playing, dirty talk, and bondage because they fear they won’t know what to do or say. Start with simple verbal fantasizing—that is, having sex while talking about more explicit acts. “You can talk about extreme things in this context,” Queen says. “But it’s perfectly safe, and you don’t have to buy gear.”
7. You’re probably going to wake up with a few marks.

FALSE. Sure, some impact play, such as spanking, could have temporary side effects. The key is to know where to hit. “You want to be over flesh or muscle, not bone,” says Queen. “Aim for the lower part of the butt; that engages more nerves and makes it more enjoyable.” Other good spots to aim for: the shoulders and upper back, Queen says. Try a flogger, such as a cat-o’-nine-tails. Warm up the area before you strike, and avoid sensitive spots like the neck and the kidneys.


OLD POSITIONS, NEW TWISTS

Laura Berman, Ph.D., author of The Passion Prescription, describes some creative new ways to update your most time-tested bedroom moves.
MISSIONARY
Position her legs straight up against your chest instead of on the bed. Then pull her legs gently upward as you move in. You’ll have an easier time stimulating her clitoris and G-spot.Another twist: scoot your body a little closer so that the base of your penis can stimulate her clitoris. And add some rocking to your thrusting.
WOMAN ON TOP
Prop yourself up at the head of the bed with pillows so she can hold onto the headboard for greater support. This position may make it easier for her to control the depth and rhythm.Another twist: try gripping her legs when she’s in reverse cowgirl. You’ll get the unforgettable view, and she’ll feel sexy and uninhibited.
MAN FROM BEHIND
Have her crouch on the bed with her torso upright, and position her back against your chest. You can touch her more easily in this position, and her hands will be free to pleasure herself. Another twist: place a pillow under her hips and thighs. With this simple tweak, you’ll be better able to change the depth of your penetration.

8 Things That Kill Your Erection

Boners are all about blood flow. So your heart—the organ that pumps your blood—has to be in tip-top shape for you to have A-plus erections. Anything that puts strain on your ticker, like being overweight or smoking, also tends to take lead out of your pencil.

Testosterone is the second factor that's crucial to a strong erection, and there are plenty of weird things that screw with its production. All the items on this list can mess with your manhood:

1. Grocery receipts. The types of thermal paper and ink used for most supermarket receipts contain high levels of bisphenol-A (BPA), a chemical that increases your body’s production of the female hormone estrogen. And that estrogen boost—along with some other BPA-triggered hormonal changes—harms your hardness, finds a study from Kaiser Permanente. ATM receipts, airport baggage tags, and lottery tickets are all printed on this BPA-heavy kind of paper. As you’ve probably heard before, hard plastics and canned foods are also common BPA sources.

2. Dessert. Consuming sugar, whether in a slice of cake or a can of soda, causes an uptick in your blood’s glucose levels, which stimulates the release of the hormone insulin. That torpedoes your body’s testosterone production, making it tougher for you to get it up, shows a study from Irish and American researchers. (This sugar-insulin-testosterone connection also explains why your T levels spike and you tend to pitch a tent first thing in the morning—when you haven’t eaten for hours.)

3. Crappy shuteye. Sleeping 5 hours a night (or less) for a few days was enough to sink T levels by 10 percent among a small group of healthy young guys, found a study from the University of Chicago. Sleep is essential for testosterone production. And so if you’re not getting enough of it—around 8 hours a night—don’t be surprised if you erection seems groggy, the study suggests.

4. A baby in your bedroom. Snoozing in close proximity to your newborn—like if you have him or her in a bassinet in your bedroom—lowers your testosterone production 7 percent or more, shows a study from Notre Dame and Northwestern University. You might think sleep disruption is to blame. But there’s evidence that hormonal shifts caused by spending the night next to your tyke triggers the drop in T, the study authors say.

5. Soy. Every vegan's favorite meal ingredient has “estrogen-like properties” that saps your body’s T store, finds a study from Harvard Medical School. A little soy won’t kill your libido. But a soy-heavy diet—think multiple daily meals that include it— could spell trouble for your erection, the study demonstrates.

6. Spending time indoors. Vitamin D plays an important role in testosterone production. Fail to get enough D from sun exposure or your diet, and your body’s T levels can plummet by 20 percent or more, shows research from Germany and Austria. (On the bright side: Just 15 minutes of midday sunlight on your bare arms and legs is enough to get your daily D dose, advises a report from Harvard Medical School.)

7. Pounding (too much) pavement. Running 40 or more miles each week could drop your T levels by 17 percent, suggests research from the University of British Columbia. Too much running could disrupt communication between your brain and hormone-producing glands, which might explain the T drop-off among hardcore runners, the authors say.

8. Booze. Noooo! You were probably praying alcohol wouldn’t pop up on this list. But multiple components of your drink of choice—from the hops in beer to the congeners in wine and liquor—infuse your libation with “estrogen-like substances” that appear to lower your testosterone, shows a study from the University of Oklahoma. Fortunately, you need to drink a lot—probably more than two drinks a day—to experience a slump in your wiener, explains resources from the University of Wisconsin.

Best Position for your aching back.



When your back hurts, sex can be more pain than pleasure. But there might be a way to stay in the game: New research from the University of Waterloo discovered that certain sex positions can be better for those with bad backs.

The study found that men with flexion-intolerant back pain—which is felt when bending forward at the waist, and the most common kind in younger guys—might be best served by a doggy-style position where the woman supports her weight on her elbows.

That position was the most “spine conserving,” meaning it allowed for the least range of motion. When she’s on her elbows, your spine can stay in a more neutral position with little forward flexion, says study author Stuart McGill, Ph.D. And that’s important, because moving your spine can cause the pain.

The second best spine-conserving position was simple missionary, where the man supported his weight on his hands and the woman stretched her legs out flat to the bed. If missionary makes you yawn, the study determined a variation of the doggy-style position that entails the woman supporting herself with her hands rather than her elbows can be used as another back-saving technique. However, it wasn't as protective as the classic version of doggy-style because the angle of penetration slightly changes, which requires more spinal movement.

Contrary to previous orthopedic thinking, the spooning position was actually worst for flexion-intolerant guys. That’s because it greatly stressed the spine, possibly because it’s harder to move the hips from that position with each thrust.

Just one word of caution, though—if you’re suffering from acute back pain, it’s probably best to let it settle down before you add sex to the mix. The study was focusing on episodic, chronic back pain, meaning pain that comes and goes, says McGill.


Your Vagina On Sex


Women Health and the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) teamed up on an exclusive survey that revealed how much women know about their own anatomy. The answer, sadly: Not a whole lot. To help you better understand your nether regions, we created an all-inclusive guide to your private parts in our November 2014 issue. This article is part of that package.

When something sexy piques a man's interest, he gets a boner. What happens to you is less outwardly obvious but just as stimulating...
The second your brain senses some potential action, your blood vessels expand and direct extra flow south. The increased circulation spurs vaginal secretions—natural lube made up of proteins and amino acids—and a plumping of the vulva. Thousands of nerve endings in the vagina's most sensitive areas light up.

Tissues in your clitoris swell and stiffen. Yes, we're talking mini hard-on. If you're, like, totally turned on, your clit can triple in size. (It takes a while post-nooky for it to shrink back down, though; during this interim, it can be difficult for some women to urinate.)

Your cervix softens and, if it or a major surrounding nerve is stroked by a penis or toy during sex, it may light up the same pleasure areas in your brain that are activated by foreplay.

In about 10 percent of women, pelvic floor muscle contractions during orgasm can propel a few drops of clear fluid out of the urethra. Don't sweat it: "Female ejaculation" is not pee; it's made up of natural sugars and prostatic acid phosphatase, a chemical also found in semen. Odds are, your partner thinks it's superhot.

Monday, 15 December 2014

What Your Sex Position Says About You


Some men love missionary, and some dudes dig doggystyle. Others like their ladies on top, while certain guys stick with spooning. Sure, your favorite sex position is probably the one that gives you the best orgasm—but on a subconscious level, your go-to move also says something about your personality in the sack.

MISSIONARY

The Move: Missionary is like Sex 101: It’s the way we’re “taught” to have sex, and the way that we see it most often in rom-coms and TV shows. But although this position is a classic, a Missionary Man might be a little insecure or “need reassurance by seeing his lover be responsive,” says sex therapist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Neurolovology. You may also be keen on having control during sex, as missionary gives you all the driving power. Since the position finds both people face-to-face, there’s some intimacy to it—but its basicness suggests the guy might not be confident about the other moves in his arsenal. “It’s romantic, but not very adventurous,” Cadell says.

Switch Things Up: There’s nothing wrong with loving the classics, but make sure you take a walk on the wild side every now and then. "If you can only climax during missionary, that’s a problem," Cadell says, and you’ll need to do some “reprogramming” to your sex life. Try switching to woman on top, which has all of the same intimate qualities, but will let you relinquish some of that control—and spice things up.

DOGGYSTYLE

The Move: We’ve never met a guy who didn’t like doggy. This, some believe, is how man was meant to have sex. A doggy-lover "taps into his territorial animalistic instinct as king of the jungle,” says Cadell, “but he also has fears of intimacy and is generally unromantic.” After all, you probably don’t go for rear entry because you want to whisper sweet nothings in her ear from behind.

Switch Things Up: You can get the deepest penetration from this position, but what you earn in depth, you lose in intimacy. To make up for it, spring for spoons every now and then. You’ll still get to enter from behind, but the snuggly qualities of spooning sex will make your partner feel like a dime, rather than a piece of meat.

WOMAN ON TOP

The Move: The beauty of this position is that there are a million ways to do it—and it’s all up to her. Men who love their women on the saddle are likely concerned with pleasing their partners, and Cadell says this move shows that “he’s confident in being submissive, but he can also be dominant when he enables her to reach her orgasm with deeper penetration.” Basically, you get off helping her get off.

Switch Things Up: We get that you like the view from down there—who wouldn't?—but take control every now and again by flipping her over. She’ll appreciate the occasional shift in power, and the view isn’t bad from back there, either.



SPOONING


The Move: Given that spooning is most often associated with cuddling and sleep, it’s no surprise that this super intimate position is often the go-to for guys who have a soft spot. But men who love the move aren’t wimps—instead, they’re “passionate and eager to please their lover,” Cadell says.

Switch Things Up: Everyone likes to experience the sweeter side of sex, and props for being a romantic. But you can still be intimate while igniting a little more fire into your sex life. While in the spooning position, reach around to stimulate her clitoris, or try a position like missionary where you can gaze lovingly into each other's eyes—while penetrating her even deeper.

STANDING

The Move: Pressed against the front door, hoisted onto the kitchen counter, or in the shower, you can have standing sex anywhere but the bed. That’s why guys who like this position best are adventurous, and often turned on by the idea of being naughty. The Standing Man is a “mischievous lover who gets a thrill out of getting caught, and wants to have as much fun as possible with little regard of the consequences,” says Cadell.

Switch Things Up: Novelty is part of what keeps your sex life hot, so don’t let yours simmer down by going to the same standing position time after time. Vary up the locations you choose, or switch to doggy from time to time—you can have your partner standing and bending over a table—to keep things interesting.


The Move: Given that spooning is most often associated with cuddling and sleep, it’s no surprise that this super intimate position is often the go-to for guys who have a soft spot. But men who love the move aren’t wimps—instead, they’re “passionate and eager to please their lover,” Cadell says. 

Switch Things Up: Everyone likes to experience the sweeter side of sex, and props for being a romantic. But you can still be intimate while igniting a little more fire into your sex life. While in the spooning position, reach around to stimulate her clitoris, or try a position like missionary where you can gaze lovingly into each other's eyes—while penetrating her even deeper.

STANDING

The Move: Pressed against the front door, hoisted onto the kitchen counter, or in the shower, you can have standing sex anywhere but the bed. That’s why guys who like this position best are adventurous, and often turned on by the idea of being naughty. The Standing Man is a “mischievous lover who gets a thrill out of getting caught, and wants to have as much fun as possible with little regard of the consequences,” says Cadell.

Switch Things Up: Novelty is part of what keeps your sex life hot, so don’t let yours simmer down by going to the same standing position time after time. Vary up the locations you choose, or switch to doggy from time to time—you can have your partner standing and bending over a table—to keep things interesting. 


7 Signs That You Have A Healthy Semen


Are your swimmers paddling up to par? There’s no easy way to gauge the quality of your semen just by looking at it, so you’ll need to schedule an appointment with your doc to find out for sure. But while you wait, here are scientific signs that suggest you’ve got strong sperm. How many can you cross off?

1. You Sculpt a Lean Midsection

Actually, you don’t even have to boast a six-pack—as long as you don’t have a gut, your semen is probably in tip-top shape. Researchers from the Netherlands found that men with a waist circumference of 40 inches or greater had lower sperm concentrations and counts of normal-moving sperm than guys with a more whittled waist.

The researchers aren’t exactly sure why a spare tire is bad for your swimmers. But they believe carrying too much weight—especially around your midsection—may interfere with the release of sex hormones, as well as the production and development of sperm.

2. You Don’t Look Like Don Draper

Good news, average-looking guys! Having a masculine mug might actually hurt you down below the belt, according to a new study. Spanish and Finnish researchers recently discovered that men who had faces that were rated as manly—i.e. wider and broader—tended to have poorer semen quality than more feminine-faced guys.

One possible reason: a theoretical explanation called the “tradeoff hypothesis.” Simply put, men have a fixed amount of energy available to devote to reproductive resources. And that energy must be distributed to a number of different components. “So, if a male consumes more resources on semen production, he may have fewer resources available for developing attractive secondary sexual traits, like facial masculinity,” says study author Jukka Kekäläinen, Ph.D.

3. You’re a Fish Man

Quick, think of your favorite go-to protein: is it red, salty, and processed? If so, your semen might be paying the price.

Harvard University researchers found that men who ate the most processed meat had significantly lower counts of normal-shaped sperm compared to those who consumed the lowest. Fish, on the other hand, seemed to have a protective effect. Guys who ate the most fish—especially dark-meat kinds like salmon and tuna—had a 65 percent greater sperm concentration than those who ate the least.

Credit fish’s omega-3s, since long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids play a part in sperm production, the researchers say. So if you’re looking to strengthen your swimmers, sub out your pepperoni topping for some anchovies.

4. You Scorn the Tighty Whities

Here’s another reason briefs might feel a bit on the constricting side: they could be suffocating your sperm, too. A 2012 study from the U.K. found that men who wore boxer shorts instead of tight-fitting underwear were 24 percent less likely to have a low-motile sperm count. Motility, or how sperm swims, is important, because sluggish sperm can have difficulty reaching the egg to successfully fertilize it.

“Loose-fitting underwear may result in lower scrotal temperatures compared to tight-fitting underwear, hence an improvement in semen quality,” says study author Andrew Povey, Ph.D. There’s also evidence that elevated testicular temperatures may hinder sperm production, he says. So if you want to be on the safe side, let your junk breathe.